Prolly All the Time

Drag-ass lazy

I wish that I could tell you all that my lack of posting is due to some profound event in my life, or at least some series of fortunate or unfortunate events that have kept me otherwise occupied -- Nobel Peace prize application, holding several kidnappers at bay with spray bottle margarine and a grapefruit spoon.  Anything that would lead you all to believe that I am anything but drag-ass lazy...  Truth be told, I have not felt up to posting, just bogged down in everyday life.  But as a sign of renewed commitment to the millions who read here (or at least the 3-4 people with hyper-clicking disorders), I vow to be marginally better than before.

I do have an update on my quest to get my fat ass back into the cutie pie pants.  As of yesterday evening, I have officially through a kind of forced dedication sloughed off a total of 10 lbs. in 2 weeks.  Not too shabby. 

But the thing is, I am practically depriving myself of all that is good in this world in order to do so. I am missing cupcakes something fierce (my current fat ass state is due in large part to my plan to perfect my skills for future bake sales while pregnant), and I have developed an unnatural craving for all things Arby's (absence DOES make the heart grow fonder)... I have not had a decent carb in 2.5 weeks and I can't remember the last time I had good natural sugar. 

M. and I were discussing the fact that we are on the edge of resigning ourselves to a lifetime of yo-yo'ing because we simply can't face a life devoid of chips and queso, pizza and yes, the cupcakes.  I feel like if I can just get back to the pre-butterbean weight, perhaps I can learn the beauty of moderation. 

In the meantime, I will admit that it is nice to have the fat pants start to sag a little in the ass.  I won't lie to ya.

Huis Clos

My friend S. is having a day...

The kind of day at the end of which you think that you must have died sometime during the night before and this is your version of hell.  It is as if each and every MoRon on the face of the Earth, spored, and the resulting triple to quadruple mass of MoRons showed up at her place of work.  Her IM comments made me snarf my beverage:

S.: and then SR called on her way home at 4 p.m. - and she was at a mother's day event for three hours today - and rattled off about 50 more to dos...
S.: quitting......
t'pon: no.  i won't let you do it. what would you do?
S.: t'pon - hauling garbage would give me more pleasure.
S.: at least people appreciate it.
S.: and, if your trash isn't out by the time my truck rolls by, you are out of luck.

There you are my dear S., now you are immortal.

Side Bar:

I swear to GAWD that if my next door neighbors don't stop letting their ratty little mop dog crap in my yard without picking it up... well, I may let my 200lbs of dog have a new squeaky toy. 

Introductions are in order

This, obviously, is my blog.  Welcome.

I have reached the first (oh what I am sure will be many) dilemmas of my blogging career.  Where to start?

I have to assume that 98% of the people who are reading this blog (at least initially) already know me.  Thus, a detailed description of who I am and what I do just seems boring.  Plus, it leaves me very little room for embellishment which is, let's be frank, the best part.

If you don't know me, where do I begin?  While I find the early years to be terribly fascinating, most agree that it wasn't until college that the shit got good.  That said, I have very few clear memories from college.  Most have been pieced together through the accounts of innocent bystanders and v.guilty accomplices.  It will take a great deal of work to recover those details.

However, I aim to please so I am going to just dive right in -- there is my husband (M.) and our families, the fur babies (C., A., N.), my baby boy (butterbean), fat pants, MoRons, work and all of the daily absurdities of life. I will mix in little tidbits of myself (LTOM) as we go along, so saddle up and lets see where this pony takes us.  If there is something that you are dying to know, ask away.  If I don't want to answer honestly... well, I will just make something up.

G*& Damn, this is a lot of pressure.

Oh, and you may be wondering, how often will I curse...

Well, prolly all the time.