Love my husband... he is smart, caring and funny as all get out. But, he is not the most, shall we say, attentive person I have ever met. It is not unusual for me to walk around the house for a number of days, tired, haggard, ill-mannered, before he realizes that something might be wrong. I have had a new hair cut AND color for upwards of a week before he has noticed it. I have huffed and puffed around the kitchen slamming cups and plates into the dishwasher and the next morning there is a new pile waiting to greet met.
And I generally know exactly what I am getting for my birthday/mother's day/anniversary because I have told him what to get and sent him an online link a couple of days before.
I am not sure that he has ever surprised me (well, with the exception of our engagement, but that is another story for another time)... that is until this morning.
Butterbean has not been sleeping as well as he used to. I recognize that this may be due to a number of factors, not the least of which is God punishing me for discussing my child's advanced sleeping behavior's with mothers not quite so blessed. Don't get me wrong, he is 15 weeks and we only have one nighttime feeding. I am a lucky, lucky bitch who doesn't deserve it... but his pattern is different none the less.
For the past 7 days, his one feeding has been falling between 3:30 AM and 4:30 AM, instead of the previous 5:30 AM. This is added to the fact that my husband and I both go to bed at the same time (in a vain effort to maintain some semblance of an intimate life... because once my sleep train has left the station, none can board) and I am always up for the first AM feeding. I also have insane problems getting back to sleep once i am awake. I usually lie about in bed with my eyes closed hoping that when i open my eyes more than 3 minutes will have gone by. Alas, I have forgotten what a good sleep is... and now that I am back at work. I am CRAP.
Last night, while trying desperately to maneuver a bottle into butterbean's screaming, wide open mouth (attached to a gyrating body) in the pitch black dark, I reached breaking point. It occurred to me that I was being taken advantage of... that somehow I was putting bean to bed, waking up to feed him and start his day, while M. enjoyed an evening of peaceful slumber and drowsy goodness.
I began to count the number of hours that I am denied in sleepy land compared to M. (@ 14 per week, if you are counting and I am). I planned my speech perfectly, lining up my points, all in an effort to convince him that he needed to step up, recognize my fatigue, and start carrying a little more weight in the nighttime schedule. I was indignant.
I might have kicked him when i got back into bed... but that can't be proved.
This morning, after retrieving butterbean from his crib, I was ready to address the issue. I started by stating (in my best feel sorry for me pathetic voice) that the bean was up at 3:30 for his feeding and took almost an hour to get back to sleep and I didn't get back to sleep until 6:30 (alarm went off at 6:50, one snooze)... as I took in a deep breath for what I expected to be the second coming of the Nixon-JFK debate (i am always JFK in this scenario), M. caught me completely off guard... he said,
"we need to get you more sleep. I should help out more getting him to sleep."
PFFFFFFFFFFHHHHT! That is the sound of the wind coming out of my sails.
No resolution on the how yet... I know that the proof is in the pudding, but don't you just love it when something unexpected happens.
M., you rock.
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