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Thursday, October 13, 2005

Comments

MIM

First, it is DEFINITELY true that boys have way more energy than girls and appear more aggressive. Drink lots of caffeine.

Second, if you want some totally unsolicited advice that is meant to help and not irritate you or negate your very good mothering skills in any way whatsoever, then keep reading this comment. If not, just delete it.

You may already be doing this, but when he's playing with something he's not supposed to, say "Not for playing," and then hand him another toy (take advantage of the distraction phase -- soon he'll be too old for that and a careful redirection with no man-handling will be in order). If you give the other toy while removing the knife from his hands, he may be less likely to scream. Also, the "Not for playing" thing provides him with an explanation. While they seem to get "no" in the early months, responding to that word in a way you would like becomes less likely with each month. In fact, if they hear it too much, it starts to just sound like background noise.

Every time he pinches you say, "We do not pinch." Then immediately put him down or step away from him for a minute if he already is down -- every time. He'll get the idea that pinching will NOT be the way to get you to play with him.

Please don't hate me.

buffi

No, it is not your imagination. Boys are much more aggressive and um, "spirited" than girls. (Or at least that's how it is among my kids) Bug was quite a headbanger. I got to where I would just move him to a surface that was soft (too many strawberries on the forehead from banging head on concrete). Then I would just ignore it. If it got attention, he would keep doing it.

MIM has some good advice. Early childhood specialists call it "positive discipline." Instead of telling him what not to do (no pinching!) show him what TO do (take his hand and show him how to stroke your arm and say "gentle hands!). I try to save "no" for big, important things.

The assvice ends here.

Wood

Given that Juniper doesn't do any of those things, that's one more in support of the it's-because-he's-a-boy theory. I mean, she sometimes tries to crawl over things, and she flails her arms causing some light smacking, but that's it. Lucky us, I guess girls are made of sugar and spice. so far, anyway. I'll get back to you when the tantrums start.

Monica

My little boy(10.5 months) is exactly the same - he is obsessed with pinching every flabby piece of skin I have, particularly my neck area, and it leaves bruises! I usually try to ignore it with the hope that if I don't react, he'll stop doing it...but that hasn't been working. I'll have to try the technique mentioned above.

Dutch

oh God, stop Bean before he ends up in one of those tent city bootcamps that you folks have down there for troubled youth! I saw one on Maury Povich or Justice: Texas Style or something. I hope he doesn't inherit his mother's fear of tarantulas and desert scorpions.

Maybe your husband should be the Bean's sensei and teach him some of his martial arts skills so that the Bean could harness all of that violence and use it for bad ass purposes such as fighting ninjas and making the alleys of Austin safe for drunk sorority girls to puke in.

Chasity

OMG! You wrote my story! Except the cat, we don't have one, but everything else to a T (Aiden is 8 mo. as well) Sidetables are nothing but obstacle courses to crawl through, pitching a fit to protest anything that is displeasing to him, kicking the mattress as hard as he can to make sure we know he is not sleeping the list is endless! My favorite, pinching the backs of my arms! OUCH, that skin is very sensitive back there, I have bruses from an 8 mo. old. I think we may have already lost the battle. Hang in there!

Holly

Yes, I truly believe that boys are MUCH more aggressive and a major handful when they are little, than are girls. I don't have any little girls, I have TWO rough and tumble little boys. But I have OBSERVED my fair share of little girls, and for the most part they are sweet and calm and placid as can be. Until they get to preschool, then they can become a little bossy. I even know a little girl in my 4 year old's preschool class who has already mastered being snobby.

But hang on - there is good news! I also believe through observation that we MOB's (Mom's of boys) will get our payback when they become teenagers. From all observations, teenaged boys and much NICER to their parents than teenaged girls are (in otherwords, the boys will actually be SEEN with their parents in public, as opposed to girls, who wouldn't be caught dead).

Now, this is a sweeping statement, I realize. I am sure there are some sweet-as-can be teenaged girls out there. But, WORK WITH ME, people. I have two boys, and I need this hope. As do you T'pon!

So, yes, things are painful and stressful, and just plain TIRING now. But don't go calling the department of corrections JUST yet... there is hope!!

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