phantom pains

I haven't written a great deal about the battling sleep philosophies because there are so many people out there who have done it more than enough justice.  Come to think of it, let me just give a little shout out to Dutch (page down for Sleep Wars, Round One) for one of the finest to date. This post is not designed to spark any kind of debate.  I don't really care if you personally believe that CIO is tantamount to child abuse, or if you think that AP is the best way to raise a bed-wetter. Here at casa t'pon we ascribe to the philosophy that short of real abuse (head over to Parents Behaving Badly if you need some clarification), it's all good. As long as you are doing what works for you and yours.

Anyway, on to the topic at hand.  Here at casa t'pon we do CIO.  It works for Bean who has a tendency to scream bloody murder only to turn on the smiles when we come rushing in thinking that Satan himself has come to harm our child.  He is a smart little bugger, I suspect smarter than either one of us and thus, we must employ the big guns to keep the balance of power tilted firmly in our favor. We started CIO as a means to an end and that end was never seeing the darker side of 4:30 AM again. It worked for us, and continues to work for us when we have those irritating little backslides brought on by travel, teething, Harley Davidson motorcycles, and psycho dogs who think barking at the hanging plants on the porch qualifies as exercise...

However, I have noticed a less than desirable side effect -- lets call them phantom cries.  For example, this morning Bean was roused from his sleep at the fine hour of 5 AM by a bread delivery truck. [SIDE BAR -- I don't think that I have mentioned that we are visiting my parents for the week. They, unlike us, live in a considerably more urban environment.  As a result, Bean has seen and unfortunately HEARD more activity in the past 3 days than in the previous 2 months.]

He started to fuss and cry and as he generally does not get up before 6:30 AM, I let him CIO.  Within 12 minutes he was back to sleep.  I, on the other hand, was wide awake.  As I eventually started to drift back to sleep, I thought that I heard him cry again.  And then later, again. And on and on until he really did cry at around 6 AM. For an hour, I caught sleep at 5 minute intervals in between these phantom cries.  Yes, I realize that this sort of defeats the purpose of CIO (except that BIG picture, I do not want to start the habit of waking up that early...), but what I am wondering is...  do you think that this is some kind of sub-conscious guilt?  Because when I am awake, I BELIEVE in CIO...  in fact, I sing Dr Weissbluth's praises and I am considering erecting a small shrine over my child's crib (but not directly over as that would be a safety hazard people). 

And yet, I hear the cries... all the time, stealing my sleep.  Maybe I just need to let my sub-concious CIO.  Teach that sub-concious a lesson.

Comments

[sleepingmommy]

I don't know if it is sub conscious guilt or not but I have the same thing happen for me. I would "hear" crying from each of my children when they were at that age and there wouldn't really be any.

It's freaky but like you said better that than train the kids that mommy will come running every time they cry. Eventually they will stop and we will actually get to sleep through the night. Right?

[Julia]

I loathe the phantom cries. They're much worse when you're not at home. Strange environments make you doubt your ears. That, and you're usually trying to keep the kid from seeming like an abandoned waif in front of others - family or not.

If you find a cure, pass it along.

[Holly]

You are SO much smarter than I with my first baby. We went in and rocked him every time he cried and if it was past, say, 4 am, he would end up in bed with us. I was WEAK! My husband would have loved to have been tougher, but I wouldn't have it. Stupid me. WEAK me.

We cured it when he was about 17 months old and I was pregnant with #2 - the hub convinced me we needed to cure the nightime blues well before the new baby came. And I couldn't argue with him there.

So, I read Dr. Weissbluth and a few others. At first I thought Dr. W was SO harsh. So I tried the "No-Cry sleep through the night" method, but it was cruel for the parents. Back to Weissbluth. And after about 3 nights of me clutching the sheets whilst my baby cried and cried and cried - it was pure sleep bliss!! Sure, a few set backs here and there, but mostly just simple and easy.

With #2, we followed Dr. W right from the start (at around 4 months). And now I can confidently say we are now SMART people!

My hat goes off to you for being SMART right from the START!

[buffi]

Well, Holly prety much summed up what I was going to say. Indulged the first one. The boys, totally did CIO. They sleep much better than she does.

I still hear the occasional phantom cry. Drives me nuts. But it gets better. It really does.

[Dutch]

phantom cries are better than the reals ones we are still getting at 11:30, 1:30, 3:30, 5:45 and 6:40. with phantom cries you don't have to get up and re-swaddle the little stinker who's standing up glaring at you from across the room.

hopefully by now you're back in Texas away from annoying bread trucks and the phantom cries are no more!