Prolly All the Time: alpha, beta... bean

There is a storm brewing here at casa t'pon, a battle of epic proportions just over the horizon... I can see it coming, and I know that life here will never be the same once it is complete.

Bean and Cole are battling it out for the alpha dog position in the pack. I fear that at the end of this all, not only will there be bruised egos, but that someone is going to have to be treated for some kind of gaping head wound.

Anyone who has multiple dogs, particularly large dogs, understands the importance of the pecking order within the pack. From time eternal, Cole has been the alpha dog of this family. He gets fed first, he calls dibs on every toy, ball, and chew toy that enters this house, and he has his way with Nugget on a regular basis. But like a new male lion circling the unsuspecting pride, Bean is preparing to make his move.

Over the past few months, Bean has been developing a very strategic relationship with Nugget. Showering her with affection, laughing at her jokes, telling her how thin and beautiful she is, feeding her "turkish delight" from his high chair throne -- essentially giving her everything that she doesn't get from Cole. She is falling for it hook, line and chicken tender. She is so enamored with the young tot that she has actually stopped being so needy when I am spending time with him. It used to be that anytime I got within 50 feet of the baby, Nugget would spring to life and bury any available appendage in my lap/chest/face/butt... whatever, anything to put herself between me and the Bean. But these days, eh... she is now willing (based on Bean's powers of persuasion) to share my love.

Having won Nugget to his side, Bean is ready to take on Cole... but I fear that it will not be so easy. Cole is, after all, MUCH smarter than Nugget and will see through simple manipulation. He is also drunk with power and paranoid about any possible action that might be an attempt to subvert his familial status. He does not accept Bean's little morsels from above, he will not share the toys. In fact, two days ago Cole popped Bean's soccer ball and football in a matter of 10 minutes just out of spite and a week ago, Cole did his best to take the head off of Bean's Little People zookeeper.

Bean, for his part, has taken on a more aggressive stand in taking control of the pack. Recently, I have observed my sweet boy startling Cole out of a dead sleep by sticking a finger in his nose for the sole purpose of rolling him over and climbing on top of him. I have also seen the boy pull at Cole's ears, try and shove things into the dog's mouth and generally molest his paws. Cole, in turn, has taken to going out of his way to throw a shoulder as he walks past Bean, knocking this little person to floor or pinning him to the wall. The "drive-bys" are so frequent that Bean is learning to "get low," squatting to prepare for the impact. Cole also uses his girth to block Bean's path, trapping in the closet or a corner of the room.

The two have so much in common -- a profound love of hot dogs and running outside, an indescribable obsession with their own "parts," an almost unmentionable fascination with Nugget's hind-end, and a snore that could wake the dead. I just don't see why we can't all get along.

I will also point out that while Cole easily outweighs this kid by 70 lbs... I don't think that the dog has considered that the Bean will only get bigger... and he will eventually be able to manipulate all manner of tools.

Like I said... someone is going to get hurt.