backchat

It seems odd to continue to refer to "the bean" as "the bean" now that he is an actual toddler (by definition and temperament) and is less than 2 weeks from the Big One Year Birthday.  I feel that he should graduate to a new nickname, like "the BeanSprout".  There seems to be more potential for him with the BeanSprout nickname, more growth and activity, seeking of the sun, branching out, photosynthesis, you know all that metaphorical crap... 

What do y'all think?  Bad idea in the course of the blogging relationship to suddenly change a major character's handle?  I changed N's handle very early on after enduring a whole two weeks of grown man whining (which in my book is only slightly more tolerable than a sharp, fucking stick in the ear and induces far less bleeding).  But, is this different? 

Moving on, the BeanSprout (formerly known as the Bean) was lagging a little in the mastery of the English language, lacking any real skills beyond that of a Mardi Gras reveler at 4 AM on Ash Wednesday.  As a result, we started actively working on some language development exercises with him -- giving him names for objects, talking to him about things we see when we are out and about, giving him simple commands, etc.  Where as, before we just duct-taped his mouth shut while we were watching TV and pointed at shit around the house and grunted. 

What?!?!  It worked for the dogs. They know when to shut up and be quiet and how to indicate their desire to be fed or let outside. What more does the BeanSprout really need to communicate?

Anyway, in the course of walking/running around the house and going about our daily lives with BeanSprout, naming things in English and Spanish (to the best of our very limited ability with the help of our very capable and fluent nanny), we have made an interesting discovery.

Jeebus, May and Joe, the BeanSprout is a motor-mouth. Once you get him started, this kid will not shut-up.  Not only that, but he is bit of a back-chatterer and likes to interrupt.  A few days ago, while building up and knocking down Lego towers engaging in brain-building play on the floor, we asked BeanSprout to come back over for more play in order to divert his attention away from eating one of Cole's hairballs that he had so lovingly selected from under the cabinet.  He turned to us, and with this face, began a 2-minute long torrent of gibberish.  While distracted from consuming the hairball, it wasn't exactly the outcome for which I had hoped.

N.turned to me and said "you might have a problem with this one." Um, OK...

And as far as we can tell, he isn't using actual words (although, he could be speaking Spanish for all we know), so he is just yelling incoherent crap at us.  ALL DAY LONG.*  From about 2 seconds after he wakes up until 3.75 seconds before his face hits the pillow for nap and bedtime, this kid is chatting. Unless of course we have his mouth plugged up with food.  Not even the binky can slow him down. Chatting with the nanny, with the dogs, with toys and stuffed animals, the doors and windows, the swiffer, the dishwasher, whatever.  Now that we have introduced him to things around the house, everything is fair game for an extended and often heated discussion.

A lot of time it is quite charming.  But, sometimes it is a little irritating.  Like when I am trying to talk on the phone (or even worse, trying to conduct a conference call for work) and he just gets louder and louder until I have to shove a sock or cookie in his mouth  politely end the conversation.  Or, when we are hanging out at the local book store and you can hear him extolling the virtues of A Snowy Day versus Are you My Mother? from the freaking periodicals section.

And I know that he understands the difference between an "outside" and "inside" voice because we have played whispering games. Perhaps, this is a case of selective memory or (unfortunately, more likely) perhaps, he just doesn't care.

It is a good thing that they make duct-tape in different colors.  At least we can make sure the he is coordinated with his outfits.

* and for the record, N and I are NOT yellers.  If BeanSprout learns anything about communication from us, it will be the long-cherished art of passive-aggressive confrontation.  He will learn how to say scathing things whilst smiling at the other person.  That, or he will gain the ability to just sigh the fully-loaded "whatever" and walk away.

Comments

[Dutch]

holy smokes, I'd like to meet this kid. and I like the beansprout moniker. a lot.

[Robin]

I do like BeanSprout. However ...

I've got a friend whose son was born three months premature. He was so tiny that he was instantly nicknames Bean. Now he's five years old, perfectly normal and healthy, and you know what? Still the Bean.

Once a bean, always a bean. :)

[Holly]

Yes, Beansprout seems fitting for a toddler. I like it.

Now, for the talking. Yes, it is indeed cute. For now. But you are a smart woman, you can already see where it will lead to.... just keep the duct tape in large supply and you'll be good.

[Liz C.]

damn, that's a cute baby! If'n ya ever wanna see photos of my monsters, just e-mail me; I keep mine on snapfish, so I can link ya up right quick-like. Re: the nickname, I'm liking the "beansprout" thing, but what about "sprout"? I love that; makes me think of the little green giant from the commercials. And my husband, punk-ass that he is, is forever telling the kids, "Before you were 'Momma's little baby', you were 'Daddy's little squirt'." So guess what we call out littlest one? That's right. You may now commence barfing.

oh, and look, I actually added my URL, as requested. I'm making all kinds of great strides, now. Next thing you know, I may actually post a coherent comment.

[Llamaschool]

Yeah, I like Beansprout, but Sprout's good too.

Can't believe your 11 month old knows inside and outside voices. Mine could break a high-ball glass from a block away, and there's no shushing her.

[buffi]

Oh, yes, you're in for all sorts of fun with this one. Just you wait and see. Not enough duct tape in Texas....

[Christina]

Ah, you've got quite a talker there! You should record some of his dialogue for posterity.

My daughter is also a talker. She babbles and talks, talks, talks all day long. She can carry on an incoherent conversation with a person for up to 20 minutes. It's crazy.

[stefanierj]

Hey t'pon--been trying to post a comment on your most recent post but my browser must be FUBAR.

Anyway, you MILF (duh, of COURSE you get the title), I loved this post--we found the same thing with the paci and Heavy D. When it's out, he babbles nonstop--often shrieking, even. But sometimes we need a break, and he's offered his paci in the middle of the day and ahhhh--a few moments' peace.

Beansprout (don't go abbreviating that, though--"BS" just doesn't sound so nice) sounds very advanced indeed, so you may be putting up with the "oh no he's grown up!" sooner than you wanted!