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Monday, September 04, 2006



Oh, sweetie, I am thrilled for you, but at the same time, I understand the wistfulness. I really do.

But you know what? You will never be some terrible girl's mother-in-law, you will be the cool mother-in-law who makes all the other girls envy your DIL, trust me on that. My sister's MIL is very dear to her and is like having a daughter she never birthed, so just think of it this way--you'll have a girl one day, and you won't even have to worry about her during her teenage years.

Oh, The Joys

I just got off a plane (am in Seattle) and read this. Ironically, I traveled here with my son leaving my wee daughter at home with her father. The woman across the aisle from me was the mother of grown sons. She said that the mother - son relationship is the best, from her perspective, because there are no "issues." She said she that as they grew up, she became their friend and that it got better and better and better all the time. She mentioned the complete and total lack of mother -daughter issues (and of course of Father-son issues) between her and her sons. She said that being the mom of grown sons was/ is wonderful.

That said, I completely understand what you're feeling and resonated with this post. I did not find out the gender of my second child and I was CONVINCED she was a he. When they put her on my stomach and told me it was a girl, I sobbed and laughed and sobbed and laughed for the promise of all the good and the difficult things you described in this post.


Yes, I know exactly. You put it just perfectly.


I totally understand what you're saying; it's not at all silly. For me, I think that not having a daughter would sadden me because I feel like I'll always be the "other" grandmother. It seems like most grandchildren end up being much closer to the mother's mother. Plus, I think you can experience the pregnancy and birth differently with a daughter than a daughter-in-law (unless you're really lucky, of course!). So, yes, having boys is amazing and wonderful of course. But, I think it's ok to be sad about not having a girl too.


you just made me cry, as youve put into words the feelings i couldnt quite capture, being the mom of two little boys.


I have three sons.
When we found out the third was a boy, I cried. Then I proceeded to go to Macy*s and buy all new clothes. No way was my child going to wear third-me-downs! I have gotten over it for the most part.
Oh, I might mention that my third son wore his hair past his shoulders (kind of like a mullet) for over 3 years! OK Maybe I wanted to pretend, I don't remember, I am just trying to survive these teenage years!
Hang in there, its lots of fun!


Hey there, I have 3 young boys also. The third we really wanted a girl, it was excited that we were having another boy, but at the same type the same type of feelings you described flooded me also. I didn't have a great relationship with my mom, so I guess I wanted to "do it better" or "do it different". I suppose it's not in the cards for us.

They are such a joy and such fun, but it would be nice to balance out the house. lol

Lawyer Mama

I completely understand. I had my second little boy 8 months ago. Having 2 boys is really the only thing that could make me contemplate having a 3rd, but somehow I know I would end up with THREE boys! Just remember that boys adore their moms - no issues, no competition, just adoration.

sweetsalty kate

Oh, I am so exactly in the same place as you are.. except times two. After reading my recent "I'm convinced my identical twins (I'm 4 months along, and yes, am huge already) are boys..." post, a friend directed me to yours, which I lapped up with intense solidarity. (http://ingliseast.typepad.com/ingliseast/2007/02/my_life_as_a_wh.html)

I love how you put this: "I will never have a relationship with my sons that is what a mother and daughter share as the daughter embarks on experiences and a life path that is parallel..." That is precisely what I wanted to say, except better.

I don't know for sure yet as you do, but will find out within a couple of weeks. Am steeling myself for a distinct lack of pigtails. This entire post is the word-for-word monologue of the inside of my head... all I can try to believe is that once they get here, we won't be able to imagine having anything other than the boys we were given.

Anyway, I am so keen to read through your archives, as it seems we're in a similar place, except for my darned splitting egg. :)

sweetsalty kate

Ah-ha! I am just realizing how late to the game I am here.. didn't notice this was a post from September and you are now at home probably doing anything but reading and updating your blog. So congratulations, and I hope you're getting some sleep and starting to feel a little bit human. Yipee! Welcome Banzo!

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