The past six months have been a roller coaster. I DO NOT LIKE ROLLER COASTERS. I do not harbor any deep appreciation for the ride, for the "thrill," or for the feeling of being snatched from the jaws of imminent splattage by a very suspect and precarious hodge podge of wood, steel beams and screws... What can I say, mini-trains of death coasters are just not my cup of tea.
Choices I have made (both actively and passively) certainly contributed to the overall mind and heart-f&*k that I have been engaged in for the past several months. The situation has made me someone who I do not particularly like or wish to be around. For months, I have plodded along rather than take any action, settling on depression, anxiety, and anger as a way of life. It has cost me my sense of humor, my joy in everyday things, and, probably the hardest to stomach, some of my bond with Banzo. [I know! Y'all are so pleased to have come over here to read this... it is uplifting, isn't it...]
Today, however, I am turning over a new leaf. I am leaving a job that has been so important to me for nearly six years that I have let it take me away from the somethings that are truly far more important. I am making an active choice to walk away from my goal in favor of someone else. I am deciding that I can find another job that is fulfilling, engaging, AND is in the best interest of my family. I am leaving behind colleagues that I adore to make more time for the people that I LOVE.
This is the hardest choice I have had to make [why? it should be the easiest! a no-freaking brainer, for crisps-sake... but I digress].
But for the first time... in a long time, everything just feels RIGHT.
Well, that's all that matters, then, isn't it? When things feel right, it's much easier to focus on the really important things in your life. :)
Posted by: buffi | Wednesday, May 07, 2008 at 11:09 PM
Congrats! I can relate ... sorta wearing the same shoes you were. Hopefully, I can "feel right" again soon. Like, now would be ok with me...
Posted by: Maternal Mirth | Wednesday, May 07, 2008 at 11:20 PM
Congratulations on leaving a place that made you miserable.
Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | Thursday, May 08, 2008 at 07:40 AM